As a runner, I always look forward to race day. Racing is exciting and is the best part of running. Lacing the spikes, stepping to the line, and waiting for the gun fill me with energy as I approach each race. My mindset changed today though. Running is much more than looking forward to race day.
This past week I received a phone call from my mom. She explained to me that she had blood work taken and something was wrong. She needed to quickly rush to the hospital for a blood transfusion and she didn’t know if she was going to live. She wanted to tell me she loved me just in case anything happened. I prayed with her and told her I loved her. Then we both hung up. I cried and couldn’t help to wonder if I would ever speak to my mom again. I was scared and really troubled over the thought of my mom dying. I decided to trust God would handle everything and I knew she was in His hands. God really did have her in his hands because I am glad to say my mom is home from the hospital and is doing a lot better.
This whole situation has made me reevaluate my running and the respect I have for my mom. In order to share what I’ve learned I need to explain my background. Nineteen years ago I was born. During my birth complications occurred that slowly took away my mom's ability to walk. She had to learn to live a completely different lifestyle. For a young married couple, like my mother and father, this was definitely a difficult situation. Taking care of a new born child and learning how to live without the ability to walk is not something a young couple should have to deal with. I don't know how my parents did it. My mom is strong though. My mom wants my family to treat her like everyone else and she is able to do many things on her own. She uses her story to present the gospel to others. She provides for our family like any other mother would. Yes, my mom experiences difficulties with being paralyzed. She does get frustrated and tired at times. But through all the pain, my mom has so much joy for life and I know this comes through her faith in Christ. I thank her for her faith. Without it, she would have never shared the gospel with me as a small child. I would not be saved without the cross and I’m thankful that my mother presented it to me. Without my mother's faith, the joy Christ has given to her life would not be as evident in the difficulties of being paralyzed. Christ has saved my mother and has given her joy in the discomforts of not being able to walk. Christ has used my mother to reveal his love to me.
Throughout my childhood, I attended Calvary Baptist Church in Reading, Pennsylvania with my family. I learned so much from going to church there each Sunday. I discovered more about Christ and I grew in my maturity with Christ. My mother was an influence on my life as she taught me how to be a true follower of Christ in the midst of difficulties. I started running as well. I began track in 7th grade and quickly developed as a runner. I ran for myself and wanted to win more than anything. Running became a major part of who I am, but I only ran for myself. I neglected God with my running and I wanted to win more than anything, even to the point where I forgot about presenting the gospel to others.
Throughout my teenage years, I had some struggles. I always had the thought that my testimony was insignificant because I got saved at a young age. My story wasn't very exciting. I also sometimes thought that my mom being paralyzed was my fault. I remember thinking a couple of times during my junior year that if I wasn't born, my mom could walk right now. My mom always told me though that she would always give up walking for my life. She loves me and is happy that I was born, even with the circumstances. My mom's love helped me, but I still wish she could walk.
So as I ran through the woods the other day, thinking about what happened to my mom this week, I finally started to realize some things about my life, my testimony, and my mother. After thinking about losing my mother, I have truly started to be thankful for what she has given up for me. As I grew up I never comprehended what my mom had given up in order for me to have life. It's difficult for me to understand what was taken from her when I’ve never been able to see her walk. I’m now starting to better realize the extent of what she has done for me. I couldn't imagine not being able to walk but she gave it up so I could have life. The beauty of that is incredible to me. I want to thank her each day whether I tell her or show her through my running. I know that it wasn't my fault that she became paralyzed. It is all part of God's plan. I also learned how thankful I am that God has given me the ability to run. I am saddened that I get to run while my mother can't walk but I know it is for the glory of Christ. I want to show my thanks to Him and my mom through running. I also now know that my testimony is worth sharing. My mother and running have embedded themselves within my testimony. I have grown up in a home where my mother has had difficulties. My mom has been an inspiration to me though, as she has shown me how to live for Christ. I no longer run for myself either. My running is now about Christ and thanking my mom. The story of my mother and how she has affected my life is all part of God's plan. God has used my mom to tell others how Christ can change their lives, even in the midst of struggles. God is now going to use me to share Christ with others, as I, the son of a paralyzed woman, use my legs to honor Christ through running. God works in mysterious and difficult ways sometimes, but it is always beautiful.
So I decided while I raced through the woods today, running is no longer about my enjoyment. I no longer solely look forward to race day each week. I am thankful for every day I can run. Running is my ministry and I can share my story through running every single day. As a runner, the day I look forward to most in not race day anymore. It is the day I can lace up my shoes in heaven, and ask my mother to join me on a run. I can't wait to show her the joy of running I have discovered on earth.
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